Anything you see in someone else you have in yourself. Any part of them you reject is a part you haven’t fully accepted in yourself. The way you are interpreting or judging another person’s actions is only your projection of how they are acting. It does it define how they are actually acting. You make up your reality by your interpretations of reality and then you respond to those interpretations rather than to actual ‘reality.’ Your response then reinforces the reality you are responding to. If you respond like the person was being mean and nasty, your response will make them mean and nasty. If you respond like they were joking and being nice then your smile will make them want to continue joking and being nice.
What you focus on is what you will see (This has to do with your brains reticular activating system). Everyone and everything are kind of like Rorschach tests in the way that a person will always have both negative and positive qualities with negative and positive ways to view them. What you choose to focus on and the way you choose to interpret what you see determines how you will respond. Your response further reinforces your interpretation. Your projected interpretation becomes reality, reality becomes your projection. If you think all people are bad and out to get you, you will see the expressions of them that reinforce that belief and ignore many of the things that are expressed in them that would support the opposite belief that all people are trying to help and support you. So in that way your interpretation of the person’s behavior is more a reflection of who you are than who they are. From this you can see that your beliefs have a profound effect on your external reality. If you want to change your external reality, you must change your beliefs. Adopting beliefs like; the universe is out to help and support you and everything that happens good and bad is exactly what you needed to become the person you want to become(Figure out who you want to become!) and, reality is all in your mind and you are in 100% control of your external circumstances are ways to empower you to leading a happier more fulling life.