Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rags to Riches Rando Reality Rhymez

All these people are just guests, there complaining just a test, in my reality, my reality.
If I want to be my best, that is what ill manifest, in my reality, my reality.
One thing that I detest, being compared to all the rest, this is my reality, my reality.

Try and drop the petty games, used to keep your mind tame.
for this i do not blame, i just see it as a shame.
so much potential we posses, if we get the hatred off our chest.

no more worries no more cry, live for each moment that goes by
another challenge to over come, overcome it don't ask why.

Stop giving your power away, don't care what people say.
It takes creativ-it-tay, to see the true way.
The fearlessness to seize the day.

the things that happen to us don't define
but its our actions over time
that determine if we shine
or get sucked in to the slime.

lol i'm out. Be fresh eat fresh live fresh n have fresh breath.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It's ok to get high on life.

As people grow up they stop thinking its ok to be a kid. Society scolds them every time they climb a tree in public, or meet a stranger, or smile and yell for no reason. 'are you high' people ask. 'That guys hammered' people say. What happened to doing things because you enjoy them.

People don't let themselves enjoy things. They use marijuana in order to have fun sitting outside at the park, or watching a movie. Sure the stuff can enhance things. but the truth is life is so amazing it doesn't need to be enhanced. Yes a mushroom trip is like nothing you can experience in your sober life. And smoking marijuana takes you places you couldn't go if you were smoking sunshine and snorting flowers. I think doing these drugs to go on vacation is great. Evey one should try them, but it becomes a problem when you use them to escape. You use them to distract you from reality rather than bring you closer to it. They need to be left as a vacation. Smoke weed to get a different perspective on a movie or sunset or the back of a 20$ bill. But be careful about spending the majority of your time stoned to the bone and swap your weed vacation out for the Bowl-to-bowl High life. You stop doing anything. It lowers your threshold of fun. It makes it OK to sit inside and watch tv. It starts to take away from your life instead of enriching it.

Alcohol is another hat people like to wear to belong. People use alcohol to lower their inhibitions and to escape from their problems. On a pretty large scale. They fear being judged but want to have fun so they use alcohol as a crutch. They go have fun and if someone judges something they do its ok.. they were blacked out... It becomes a competition between people to see who can get more shitfaced. Last time i checked it wasn't hard to chug beer and take shots till you threw up under the bar stool, on the beer pong table or in the sink (If your too classy for a toilet). The real challenge is going out and truly enjoying yourself, dancing, talking to random people, and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks. Not relying on the excuse of being shitfaced if you make an ass out of yourself.

Theres somthing very huge or very small out there.

This thing is currently beyond our comprehension. I predict that some where down the road science will explain it all, one thing at a time. It could take 100 years of 100,000. maybe we wont live that long but I have a feeling that the feelings we get, the coincidences we encounter, the miracles we see, that we currently call god because we cannot explain them in any other way will someday be explained. I wouldn't be surprised if all the things we felt, all the spiritual laws we have, (like the law of attraction) are all subtle things. so subtle that you cant even begin to explain them from our current world view. Much like a Neanderthal couldn't explain how a spaceship works (or a light bulb for that matter.) Some day we will have figured it all out. Would this take away life's beauty or add to it? Like naming and defining trees and flowers have changed their meaning. Sometimes people enlist the help of marijuana or mushrooms to become reconnected with the wildlife we have all filed away as explained. The things we stopped taking the time to be present and enjoy.

Maybe its somehting that's unexplainable, a power, an energy to big for the mind to ever grasp fully. a connectedness that can never be defined. but i just hope we can start to get closer to it rather then farther away. because losing site of it is losing site of ourselves. I guess if being lost doesn't kill us then it'll make sure the only thing we have left to do is to be found.


In order to solve societies problems we need to get rid of politics. There are going to be scientific ways and technologies that can be fairly distributed throughout the world. Why do we have politics? Politics are big and small. From the united states government to the Milwaukee school system to the little league baseball team.

Its all a power game. Who can fuck over who and get the most power. Who can manipulate the rules to get theirs.

How can we change our mindset. How can we be happy with what we have. Strive to achieve what we can achieve and do it WITH other people rather then competing AGAINST them.

We are all connected. You get by giving, not by taking.

The shift is coming.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Layers: Voice. Feeling. Self image.

There are many layers on top of who we really are, our self image. The most obvious layer is the voice in you head saying you cant do something. Your not good enough. Telling you only the obstacles. Below that is a the feeling. The feeling is what the voice is trying to justify. The feeling is what the voice is explaining to you. Once you can stop hearing the voice you can start to deal with the underlining feeling. The feeling comes from your self image. The goal is to get your self image to the outer layers of your potential. Not let any of the voices hold you back from what your able to accomplish. From 'I'm bad at math' to 'I suck with girls.' These are all self fulfilling prophecies. Recognizing that your past mistakes or failures don't define you. That you NEED those experiences to succeed. Realize that how you talk to yourself determines what you are capable of accomplishing. Change how you talk by being aware. Change the feeling of uncertainty and doubt by pushing your comfort zone. And notice that the things you're able to accomplish will change.

Talking yourself out of the good times.

As children we do a great job of living in the moment. We climb trees to the top without thinking about how hard its going to be to come down. We ride our bikes down hills as fast as we can without thinking about how much its gonna hurt when we fall. We play in the mud without thinking about how hard its gonna be to clean our cloths. We lose this as adults. The more times we make arts n crafts with Popsicle sticks and hot glue the more times we get burnt by the glue gun. The more times we have to clean up the mess we had so much fun making. As we grow up our focus changes. We start thinking about all the negative things that go along with living in the moment and it can stop us from leaving the couch at all. First you think somehting like 'I should go to the bar' then immediately the negative thoughts start creeping in. We over analyze the situation. Instead of giving the night a chance you start thinking 'No one will be out' 'Ill sit there like an idiot' So it becomes easier to just sit on the couch and let all the life experiences you could be acquiring pass you by. Its easier to avoid the unknown instead of use it as a chance to explore and grow like you did when you were a child. All the life experience you get when you grow up takes away from any new life experience you can get in the future, if you let it. We must remain conscious of the times we talk ourselves out of taking action. If you have an idea. DO IT! If you wanna get into a kid cudi concert and you don't have tickets. GO TO THE THING ANYWAYS! Look for a back door. Enjoy every minute of it. Even if you don't get in you had fun trying. Nothing is a waste. Its a numbers game. The more chances you give yourself, the more things are going to work out. The more things that work out the more confidence you'll have in the next adventure you partake in. Knowing that each failed experience was just something that gets you better at succeeding the next time. This creates a snowball that grows into an amazing life. Get out there. Be optimistic. Enjoy the adventure. Explore the experience. And live like a kid again.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Taking Inaction.

How do you know when the justifications your making for an inaction are an actual reason for the inaction or an excuse you made up to protect yourself from being uncomfortable or not facing your fear. When the reasons your giving yourself for not taking action are merely excuses cleverly designed to keep you in your box of comfort. The only way to truly know when you're not using excuses is by examining the actions you take.

The actions you take are the only thing that truly defines what your intentions are. Actions don't lie. When your actions are incongruent with your purpose then what ever reason you give yourself for the incongruency is an excuse. If you 'wanted' to do something and you didn't do it, its because deep down you really didn't want to do it. The example that stands out to me in my life is hockey.

First I think most people can acquire the skills and talent to become great at something given they truly, deep down enjoy the thing there doing and they go about practicing it in the right way.
These things were more so learned than born with so they can be taught. I think the child must find out what he truly enjoys from a young age when my neuroplasticity is high. When you're young there's a period of time when your neurons are forming rapidly and it becomes easier to learn a skill. That's why its easy for young kids to learn multiple languages. Its why you see some amazing child piano or drum players. In my case i spent a lot of time playing with a hockey stick and ball when i was young. I spent a lot of time on the ice. I loved the game. each opportunity I had I would fill with hockey, i tried to get my parents to build a rink in the back yard. I went to the local outdoor rink in the winter and played till i couldn't feel my feet anymore and id return to the warming hut, take my skates off and start crying because the pain from the frost bite on my toes. I spend hours putting holes in my garage with hockey pucks. That gave me the skills to score goals. I was ahead of my time at that age. Since i scored goals when i was young it turned me into a goal scorer. Since i was a goal score i got more ice time and played with more competitive players lending me even more experience. Some people can skate great, stick handle good and shoot good but for some reason they aren't goal scores. They choke given the opportunity at the net. They have the habit of hitting the goalie. Others, the goal scores, don't seem to miss. If they get in front of the net the puck is going in. Without even looking they will find an open spot. The open net becomes a feeling. They can sense where it is. sense what they need to do to get the goalie to react. I believe the mind pattern or my thought habits is one of the reasons i got good at scoring goals. After each game i would have fun going over in my head first all the goals i scored. usually a couple times. I could remember each goal, what it felt like, and its exact path into the net. Then id look back at all the opportunities. All the places where i felt like i should have scored. I looked at the reason the puck didn't go in and how i could score in a future scenario. I didn't realize it at the time but this habit of mentally rehearsing the successes and how to succeed the next time was a habit that turned me into a goal scorer. Now maybe being born with a mind that naturally went over these things is what enabled me to get good but i feel like its a skill that can be taught once you find something your child really enjoys doing.

So, say I wanted to become a professional hockey player. Given that I had the skills/talent. The reason I didn't become a professional hockey player is because deep down I didn't really want to. As i look back i can see a lot of truth in this. I used to have 60 goal seasons when i was little when the person with the second most goals was in the low 20's. This got me a lot of attention. I started to dream about being a pro and being on TV. I idolized players like Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux. Then i saw them in interviews. I saw them in front of millions of people, put on the spot, every word analyzed and critiqued and it terrified me. I didn't think I could ever speak in front of that many people. What would I say? I didn't feel interesting enough. I felt like I couldn't speak well. I didn't know the answer to the questions I would be asked. Looking back. Deep down i feared that kind of pressure so much it made me subconsciously avoid the situation all together. I sabotaged the big breaks I could take so I never had to face that kind of pressure. I steered clear of my deep down fear. I see it big and small in a lot of places in my life. I used to avoid uncomfortable situations like the a bear avoids the winter. It kept me safe. Kept me comfortable. I got very good at it. That's one of the biggest changes that has helped me grow as a person recently. I've started recognizing when I think I'm going to feel uncomfortable and make sure I do what ever I can to put myself in that very situation. I've realized that it was all in my head. Gradually I have less and less things I feel like avoiding. My comfort zone has increased exponentially. Which in turn translated to extremely elevated levels of self confidence and increased self esteem. which opens up an amazing amount of new opportunities. I feel more empowered. I start to see that anything the world throws at me I can conquer. Any obstacle in my way I can climb. Each new thing is nothing but practice. Something to learn from. I begin to welcome uncomfortable experiences as a way to grow, a way to expand my comfort zone and get that much closer to true core confidence.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Happy Cries

Today I was a little off. Ive changed so much this past year and I haven't had this feeling for awhile. It was a feeling like I was no longer in control of my destiny. Like life was to big and I was to small to make a difference. I am planting a couple seeds right now and I think i let them get the best of me. I started thinking about their potential and how real that potential could become. Somewhere deep inside me I didn't feel big enough. I didn't feel worthy. I started letting something creep in that made me doubt myself. It wasn't even voices. I blocked out the 'you cant do it because of this' voice awhile ago. But yet it existed. Maybe the voices are you rationalizing your feeling to yourself. I couldn't put a finger on why i was feeling like this. It was so subtle. Like people didn't care about me. Like it matters what they thought again. Like I was doing something wrong. I sat reading the new psycho-cybernetics and couldn't get into it. I lay and tried to discover what was bothering me. What was it inside that made me feel this way. I even made fun of someone in class today for no real reason, I did it because the opportunity presented itself. I did it because I felt weak and it made me feel stronger. I felt like apologizing right after. I didnt. I thought it would make me look weak. look needie. So I ignored myself. Now laying in bed I pushed on reading. I started to connect with the book again. I thought again about apoligizing now hours after. I sent the text message anyway. Being mean is not who i am. I like that i get uncomfortable now when i put people down for no reason. I dont care much how the text message makes me look. It felt good to send it. Back to the book, I read on. Somewhere something in the book began to connect with me again. I realized my problem. I said out loud, even tho it felt uncomfortable 'I have ides that will change the world.' Immediately tears filled my eyes. I repeated it. The tears got stronger. But a certain darkness lifted. The thing that was holding me back vanished. Again i felt alive, happy, in control. Ive had an increasing number of these moments lately. Moments where something just clicked. a realization so huge i had to cry. An undescribable release of emotion. It happened when i realized how much my family loves me. how they will do absolutely anything for me and all they ask in return is a thank you. How all these years i didn't realize it. How all my mom wanted me to do was watch her run a marathon but she didnt know how to say it. she gave other excuses for me to come home and i couldnt see what she was really asking. I was to selfish to think that maybe they like when im involved in their lives in the same way i like it when they're involved in mine. I took for granted how they come to almost all of my hockey games and support me in WHATEVER i decide to do. How I could wake up in the mourning and they would be there to make me breakfast. How something as easy as calling on the phone to say 'hi, hows your day going' could mean so much yet i was 'to busy' to take the time to do it. How all they do is care about me and all i do is care about myself. It happened again when i was watching 'The shadow effect' and i told myself out loud that i forgave myself for not living my full potential in hockey. I realized how i still carried that burden. I was still mad at myself for not trying as hard as i could with the talent i was given (or acquired with my passion for the game at a young age and a mindset that gave me habits that allowed me to accel but thats a ponder for another blog entry.) Deep down I really never forgave myself. I cant put into words the power these realizations have. The disappointment that i didn't realize it sooner and the gratefulness that i was able to realize it now. The impact being able to come to these realizations has on my future. In a way these moments are what I'm searching for. The reason i read book after book and article after article about self help, happiness, psychology and success. Each epiphany, each paragraph each sentence brings me closer to figuring out whats holding me back. To conquering my deep down fears. To matching my self image to my actual potential. Its easy to lose sight of the amount of small steps it takes to do something great when you look around and see the end product of so many great people who have accomplished so much. Trying to mimic them and achieve what they have achieved instead of learning from their success and achieving what I am meant to achieve. Comparing myself only to myself. Growing each day one step at a time. Staying true to my purpose. Taking actions consistent with that purpose. Knowing you get out of life what you put into it. Tonight It was a toss up between knowledge and experience. And now I'm gonna put on my party hat and choose both. Life. Thank you for the lessons. You are super tight.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Just do it.

How you do anything is how you do everything. Ask yourself how your life is going to turn out if your to lazy to start any endeavor you think worthwhile? how much stuff will you miss out on? How many things have you already dismissed because you talked yourself out of taking the first step? Now think about how great your life would be if u had the courage to dive into everything you saw potential in. You didn't let yourself talk yourself out if taking the first step. You didn't let other people decide the path you should take. You stopped listening to the voice in your head that said you cant, told you it is to hard. You stepped up this one time and planted the seeds to your future. You took it one step at a time. You continued to water the seed you planted. Knowing if this one dies it helped you know how to better take care of the next one. The worst thing you can do is to not do anything. Realize there is no such thing as failure. Each thing you don't succeed at gets you closer to a success the next time. Let go of all the excuses. Your past laziness's don't define you. Each time you've chosen inaction over action it has reinforced the behavior. All it takes is one action to get the ball rolling back where it should be. Back on the path of your true potential. Only then will you feel a happiness like you've never felt before. You will wake up each day with a purpose. A reason for leaving the comfort of your warm covers and relaxing position. Embracing the new warmth found in the moment. Who uses a snooze button anymore? Being awake finally has more fantasy and potential than anything we could come up with in our dreams. The World Is Yours.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Source Energy

Something is out there. It can be felt and seen. A connectedness of energy. The very act of trying to describe it takes away from its meaning. People throughout history have tried to define it. Some people call it god and give it human characteristics. Explain what cannot be explained. Understand something our minds may not be built to understand. Our perspective may be to limited. Yet it is to big and to beautiful not to reach for. Like flowers reaching for the sun.

The current name I choose is Source Energy. It comes to us when we don't resist it. Something everyone can tune into. Something everyone who finds it will interpret uniquely. Something internal rather than external. The universe becoming aware of itself through us. The only thing consistent about it is its inconsistency. It blows my mind. Each day a little closer to understanding what cannot be understood. Learning from the people who searched for it before me and leaving something to be learned by the people who will search for it after me. Life, you are truly amazing.